Where's Bill Gone?
Where's Bill gone?
It was heartening indeed to read the latest TWYH 5D Report by Lauren Gorgio. I know many of you read her work and however much I try to dislike the information in her reports she always seems to nail it. Getting messages from the League of Galactic Nations always seems to distance me from the reality of putting the bins out on a Wednesday night, but despite my misgivings those dudes seem to know what I am experiencing!
Bored or Angry?
If trying to make sense of the past few weeks has been difficult, trying to translate the experience into words has felt nigh on impossible. The extreme nature of what I clumsily describe as my 'dislocation' has brought up a whole range of feelings extending from boredom to anger.
Who ever has picked up the reigns to play the character known as Bill has learned his lines pretty well and is functioning to an extent, although the confused expressions of those who know him well and their guarded hesitancy around him, give away a certain disquiet. Not brave enough to utter the words, their thoughts are screaming "Where's Bill gone?" . The car I reversed into yesterday and the skill of another driver in avoiding me later in the day suggest the new Bill hasn't held his driving license that long either!
Another death
My last job in the City was at J.P.Morgan and at the end of every year we had to complete a 360 review in which our peer group, and anyone else who fancied it, could write comments on each others performance. One of the smartest guys in the room simply stated on his assessment of me "Will the real Bill Ayling please stand up". Well stand up he did and within three months he had not only stood up but also walked out of the door.
The death of that old identity was slow and measured and except to those close barely noticeable. The emergent character had little in common with many people from the past and most have fallen away from his life.
What seems to be happening at the moment is another death. This time of my current identity, or the parts of the old which have hung around like a bad smell. This time it is neither slow nor measured. Who or what ever is running the show has little patience and no tolerance of anything which looks, tastes or smells like conditionality. Frustratingly, while this energy is very definite in what it doesn't like, it is far less assertive in its expression of what it does like.
Some might argue that this is just the same old Bill, lacking motivation and desire. Actually that aspect of the old version of Bill was, I suspect, as close to his truth as he ever got. There was a rejection of anything motivated by survival consciousness, a distaste for manipulation and a rejection of third dimensional relationship be it with people, stuff or money. And the times that character despised itself most was when it operated (often very successfully) at that level.
Discomfort does not equate to failure
Now the current transition for many is neither pleasant nor easy and I know many of you feel that your discomfort be it at the level of physical, emotional or mental pain is an indication that you are getting something wrong. So much New Age teaching and Self Development bullshit creates a very destructive level of self judgment which is just as embedded in the conditional third dimensional constructs as the consciousness it claims to have escaped! Be confident that its OK not to be OK.
What I am attempting to describe above is beautifully presented in the latest theTWYH blog and rather than carry on I will leave a couple of sections for you to ponder below whilst encouraging you to access the full copy from her site.
At the moment we are currently in a very liquid void space where everything is kind of floating in an abyss with little to no structure and/or ability to decipher where we are headed or why…most of us can’t muster up the motivation to care.
There is a also definite sense of the separation of worlds (duality/unity) as many beings prepare to cross over…WITH their physical selves…into the new reality system. Realize that the physical and emotional bodies can read these transition experiences as actual death, so keep that in mind if you have been experiencing any suffocating heaviness, claustrophobic/trapped sensations (like the walls are closing in on you) and/or witnessing passing death-related thoughts/feelings.
Know that any discomfort you are feeling is serving you greatly, beckoning you to remove all obstacles between you and YOU…to let the grace flow through you, so that you may truly open to receive thy bounty within your very cells.
These are exciting times. Ride the waves don't fight them and always know that you are not alone in your experience.
Lots of love as always
Bill