Obscurity /August 23, 2013

Obscurity

One of the common observations of the current evolution of consciousness is the feeling of isolation, dislocation and at times ridicule which it creates. It can be very tempting to obscure your passion and court approval from a world infected with narcolespsy. In fact one of my greatest stresses has been the need to explain myself. But to what extent is that an abdication of responsibility?

An emerging truth to me is that it is becoming too painful to deny my expression. The need for approval is becoming an acknowledged enemy. 

As so often happens with a realisation comes the confirmation. We often tell people that when something comes into our awareness three times we had better start paying attention. Ignoring that rule it took four times for me to finally purchase a copy of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.  My opposition lay in one of my 'patterns'. As the son of a good socialist father I instinctively opposed the thinking of a darling of the neo-con right. However, confronted with the book on four occasions in one week I surrendered my prejudice and downloaded a copy. (For interest the sources were The Madmen, Ron Paul, Max Keiser and Matt Taibi).

Barely into the novel I have already scribbled copious notes. The first of which is as follows:

"There is no necessity for pain - why then is the worst pain reserved for those who will not accept its necessity?"

I am writing his on the way to a retreat with Adyashanti who explains that the pain created by resisting pain is far greater than the pain itself. I know this sounds like one of those circular statements which seems destined to disappear up its own butt....but it is worth some reflection.

Anyhow, it is less pain that caught my attention than obscurity. That feeling I have that people will tolerate my ideas because they kind of like me. I have attempted to dampen my passion for the sake of approval and as I stated earlier, that is becoming intolerable. If you recognise this feeling, and find yourself playing small, STOP. The consequences of not expressing your truth are going to lead to a world of pain that even an Adyashanti retreat might struggle to address.

The following passage from Atlas Shrugged prompted this piece and spoke volumes to me...see what it does for you...

"It had been a struggle without the relief of violence, without the recognition of finding a conscious enemy, with only a deaf wall to batter, a wall of the most effective soundproofing: indifference, that swallowed blows, chords and screams - a battle of silence..., the silence of obscurity, of loneliness, of the nights when some rare orchestra played one of his works and he looked at the darkness, knowing that his soul went in trembling, widening circles from a radio tower through the air of the city, but there were no receivers tuned to hear it."

If the world's receivers appear to be tuned to a different frequency do not despair. Your signal is becoming more coherent with each passing day, and your signal cannot fail to attract the right people. The days of compromise are nearing an end and we will all begin to understand the true meaning of coherence. 

Love

Bill