Self conscious of Self aware? /February 21, 2014

John Travolta or Patrick Swayze?

I am a fantastic dancer.

OK, I am a fantastic dancer under the following circumstances:

1) I am alone or

2) I have a had a few beers or

3) err....that's it I guess.

The truth is I am rhythmically challenged. I suffer from that condition common to so many middle aged men...Dad Dancing.

Dad Dancing is a condition which occurs in social situations consisting of family and friends, music and an obligation to join in the "fun". Men instinctively form defensive circles at the bar in such situations to avoid the humiliation of public displays of Dad Dancing. Symptoms include temporary paralysis of all four limbs save for sporadic jerking movements, spontaneous perspiration, inane grinning and a sense of slow death. (This demonstration of Dad Dancing is far too slick)

The defensive ring at the bar occassionally leads to one too many beers and the lifting of the paralysis and a sudden enthusiam for movement. An amnesia erases all past memories of musical movement and the rythym returns. I suddenly find myself moving fluently as I am possessed by the spirit of John Travolta, or is it Patrick Swayze?. (This is how I feel when I am John Travolta )

Whoever is guiding my body I am back....the fantastic dancer!

Self Conscious or Self Aware?

In reality my dancing lies somewhere between paralysis and John Travolta but my experience of it feels that extreme. The difference in that experience lies totally in my head. How I dance is irrelevant to the rest of the world but my idea of how my dancing is perceived can be crippling to me.

When Self Conscious my movements do indeed feel forced, jerky and uncomfortable. The exhausting process of self reflection has the effect of separating me from the music, the flow, the beat. When I can lose that self reflective arc of consciousness something strange happens. I become Self Aware and my body is able to feel the music and translate it into movement. Released from the judgment of how that movement is perceived or relates to the music the experience moves from the rigidity of fear to the flow of joy.

Whether the dancing in this state is good or bad is irrelevant. By losing Self Consciousness I allow in Self Awareness and I become a flow of consciousness, of life, of movement as opposed to a critic or opponent of it. 

Dance Like There is Nobody Watching  

The more we can escape Self Consciousness and move into Self Awareness the more able we will be to flow through life. Most of our preferred activities are simply attempts to lose ourselves, or more accurately lose self reflection. Going to the movies, playing sport, or even dancing are opportunities to forget ourselves for a few moments.

It is worth remembering that we tend to be the harshest and probably only judge of our experience. Nobody really cares how I dance and my trying to work out what they think is as pointless as it is irrelevant. I love to dance when there is nobody watching, perhaps it is time to live like there is nobody watching too.

Have fun

Bill