Bill's Will / May 30, 2014

Bill's Will

Before you start clamouring around stating a claim on my remaining possessions, the title of this week's blog is not some sort of distributive obituary, rather a reference to the mental faculty by which I deliberately choose or decide upon a course of action. 

Ironically, I seem to be currently experiencing a near total absence of that particular mental faculty, which does in some ways represent a death. A death of the ego I guess. Familiar, almost reflexive choices of the past no longer seem obvious. My desire to shape my experience seems to be diminishing.

A maverick by nature I have never really been excited by the things I am "meant" to want, but I guess that was me just wanting to be different! But even the desire to be different seems tired now! 

As we mature, evolve and eventually move beyond our "stories" of ourselves, or transcend the ego, we may expect to find "our true selves". What we encounter is in fact extraordinarily disappointing to the mind. To quote Adyashanti (again!) "People expect to find a piece of content called the Real Me. There is in fact an empty void in the middle of our psychological content. At the core of the ego (and all around it) there is nothing".

This nothing is beyond the reach of the mind and is interpreted by the ego as a deficiency. It is simply awareness and sitting in that space leaves nothing to be done. No choices to be made. No will to exert. And as I stop trying to assert my will so arrives a coherence. An absence of confusion. Terribly disappointing to the mind, but a lovely place to hang out!

That sacred space is where we become one with the Divine, an expression of the divine.

Free will or freedom from will? 

Love

Bill